An Unwanted Experience

**Not suitable for young readers due to sensitive subject matter. Parental guidance strongly suggested!!**

Four years ago to the date, I may have been the victim of unwanted sexual touch while standing behind a crowd control barricade at a Hollywood movie premiere. The reason I state “may have been” is because I was then, and still am, a virgin – unaware of certain intimacies. The ramifications of that one moment in time reveal themselves bit by bit, in the quietest of days, until tears fall, shame sets in, and I get pissed off!

On a beautiful LA day in April of 2016, I decided to take advantage of my proximity to red carpet event locations. I arrived at Hollywood & Highland early, grabbed some lunch, and found a spot along the barricaded sidewalk to see the excitement unfold. I watched in awe as crews worked to complete the setup, press corps assembled cameras, and security guards made sure no one tried to jump the barricade. I felt at home in a way I couldn’t describe – alive and full of joy. My artistic spirit bounced within as the sun shone and the excitement began!

5 April 2016 – Hollywood, CA

As the number of limos dropping off attendees increased, so too did the crowd behind me. It started to get a bit packed and people were squished together. Then, I noticed a sensation directly behind me – someone, something pressed up against my rear. I moved my position but the pressure stopped only momentarily, then continued. I told myself that it’s just that the crowd is so tight and someone’s phone is rubbing up against me. But what I actually believed and felt was far more troublesome – the guy directly behind me is rubbing his privates against my backside. I tried to push back, show that I was uncomfortable but I couldn’t be certain of what I thought was happening because I’ve never had that sensation before. I was a nearly 40-year-old virgin; I didn’t know what it felt like to have a man’s arousal pressed against me. I began to wonder if by pushing back against the pressure I was arousing him more instead of showing my discomfort, so I froze in place – uncertain what to do to make it stop.

Eventually he walked away, and I instantly thought that he got what he needed from me and moved on. He’d satisfied his pleasure, and there I was standing there like an idiot; a “coward” who was more afraid of being wrong and falsely accusing someone than speaking up. I glossed it over, smiled and brushed the incident aside as I drove the hour-and-half journey back to my sister’s house. I spoke not a word of it, because I’d convinced myself it was all in my imagination. But what began as an opportunity to pursue a TV writing career in Feb of 2016, soon down-spiraled as low self-esteem and doubt convinced me to forego the dream and return to the East Coast. I can’t state for certain that the experience affected my choice to leave Los Angeles, but looking at in retrospect, I can’t say for certain that I was unaffected.

I hadn’t thought much about the movie barricade incident in the past four years until a recent fall that led to a bruised bum. I couldn’t apply surface cream without the snippet of fear rushing back and my stomach clenching. I recently told my younger sisters about this experience, breaking down as I tried to explain what happened. “I don’t know what it feels like.” I kept repeating those words through broken sobs until my sister hugged me and let me release my emotions in a safe space surrounded by loved ones.

This experience is but one reason I feel embarrassed and ashamed to discuss being a virgin. I keep thinking that I should’ve known what was happening. If I’d been braver and less scared of being physical in my twenties then maybe I would’ve been more sexually knowledgeable and spoken up for myself in 2016. I could have confidently stated that some stranger was assaulting me instead of silenced by doubt. I also brushed my concerns aside because it wasn’t rape, he never touched me anywhere else. I had no wounds – not even certainty that what he was doing was actually what it felt like he was doing. My inexperience left me vulnerable, because he could continue rubbing against me and I was too uncertain to stop him.

After writing all this down in retrospect, I now wonder if that’s what caused my anxiety attack at the Women’s March nearly a year after the movie barricade incident. As the crowd thickened at the event, my anxiety rose. I felt trapped, unsafe – had to get out! The friends with me were amazingly supportive; pushing through a path for me until I could find air. I cried, sobbed, shook and yet I couldn’t explain why I felt what I felt so intensely. It didn’t make any sense as I’d never been claustrophobic before or had fell victim to severe panic attacks. All I could focus on was drinking water, sitting down, and breathing to help the shaking subside. Eventually, the crowd dispersed and I walked back to the train station with my friends at my side.

I don’t mean to dissuade film enthusiasts from the joy of standing along the barricade at movie premieres/red carpet events for the briefest glimpse of the artists you admire, but I hope that by sharing what I experienced others may stay aware of their surroundings in crowded settings and security officials recognize that it’s not only the event attendees who need your protection.

MOVING FORWARD

Why write about this experience now? In the midst of social distancing and a national health crisis when people have life and death concerns? I don’t have a good response – other than every day I read through the draft and hesitate posting it is one more day the experience holds power over me. And, quite frankly, that’s unacceptable!

For anyone who thinks or suspects they are being sexually touched without consent, speak up; nudge a neighbor next to you and ask them for help. Find a security guard patrolling the street and call them to your aid. Or better yet, turn around and tell them to “knock it off”! Your voice is worthy of being heard – your body is yours alone; no one has a right to touch you without consent. To those sexually inexperienced people like me, trust your instincts! When, or if, you decide to become physically intimate is a choice for you alone to make and the predatory acts of another should never make you feel ashamed or guilty. I’m still working on believing that last statement; but I promise to keep speaking up and out.

This girl has a name, and a voice! (Photo: April 2019 PA)

Actors are Real People

Despite what the fine print on your TV ads might say, actors are real people. Truly, they are! Unfortunately, I am continuously amazed that a percentage of the population treat celebrities as though they are not.

Actors (whether on screen or stage) have hopes and dreams, family and friends, ups and downs, and yes, even political opinions about the country and world in which they live. I’ve heard it stated on more than one occasion that “celebrities” shouldn’t complain about all the media attention or lack of privacy because it comes with the profession. That’s preposterous, ridiculous, and a load of…[bleep].

There’s been much talk as of late regarding “fans” and their sense of entitlement towards celebrities. The idea that fame constitutes ownership on any level is unfathomable. These are men, women, and children who are following their artistic passion. Their profession of choice enables them to make their dreams a reality – to act, sing, dance (all three) and share their art with the public. That’s beautiful and worthy of admiration. However, that does not invite a break in boundaries or lack of privacy by the adoring public. We have NO right to expect and/or demand that an artist (regardless of medium or level of fame) owes us their time, attention, or signature.

I completely understand the excitement of seeing your favorite actor, actress, or musician in person and the once in a lifetime opportunity of getting a selfie to show friends and family. I get that – I truly do. (If I ever met Lea Salonga in person I’d probably lose all ability at putting words together cohesively.)  But to intrude upon their personal space or assume that they have a right to acknowledge my presence because I may will it so…well, no – never would I ever.

Real People image

I like to think of celebrity sightings as a glass-half-full moment. If my favorite TV star or musical lead willingly makes time to sign autographs and take selfies, then that’s a happy surprise. Beside, there’s always conventions!!!!

 

If they choose instead to wait at the theatre between shows or are exhausted, in a rush, enjoying peace and quiet, or waiting at the airport then who am I to expect or assume that my needs supersede theirs? They owe me nothing – it is quite the opposite. If they’ve been brave enough to embrace their talent and succeed because of it, I owe them my respect and admiration.  I will continue about my day and, if moved enough, write a letter or blog post sharing my appreciation.

Perhaps the next time you’re frustrated, angry, or annoyed that an actor passed you by without acknowledgement, you might consider that…

Actors are real people!

 

*Recent allegations regarding illegal and unethical behavior by some in positions of power in Hollywood must be voiced and heard in order to enact change. I applaud the brave individuals speaking out against a culture poisoned by those who believe fame gives them a sense of entitlement. If you commit a crime, you should be held accountable by law – regardless of your chosen profession.* 

 

My Adventure in Hollywood: A Writer’s Quest

I watched the 2016 Oscars ceremony from a hotel room in the mid-west, halfway through the cross-country trip from Pennsylvania to California. I was on an adventure – taking a leap of faith and pursuing a career as a TV writer.

As my father/frequent driver/guru slept during the awards I sat on the edge of my temporary bed, my eyes glued to the screen and my fingers dancing on social media apps.  I cheered, booed, and celebrated wins (quietly as not to wake my elder) and fell asleep as the credits rolled. My heart was full of joy, my spirit filled with purpose, and my mind brimmed with inspiration.

The joy, purpose, and inspiration weren’t enough to turn the dream into a goal. Ten weeks into my CA adventure I made the life-changing decision to return to the east coast.

Lessons Learned

I failed – that’s the message that I’ve told myself during the eight months since my return to PA. Though friends and family use words like brave and inspirational, I thank them but disagree. The memories of my time in Hollywood fill my soul with pride yet also cut my self-confidence in half.

 

img_0771
View of the Pacific Ocean

 

I miss the artistic energy, the scenic views of the Pacific coast, and even the healthier lifestyle. I miss taking walks with my sister and her family, playing board games with my nephews, and attending baseball practices/games.

I miss attending events like the LA Times Festival of Books and WonderCon – listening to panels varying in topic from Young Adult Fantasy and TV marketing.

I miss the beautiful weather, navigating LA traffic with ease, walking around Hollywood & Highland, waiting along the sidelines during red carpet premieres – with pen and paper to remember it all.

What don’t I miss? The fear of failure success, applying to jobs that would require dedication and commitment for the long-term goal, and the dreaded self trio: doubt, confidence, and esteem.

I had to ask myself if I wanted the ultimate goal of TV writer badly enough to work my way there over the course of five to ten years. Could I settle down in Los Angeles – away from most of my family and friends? What if I achieved career satisfaction or even financial success? Would all my faults and flaws be food for fodder? Could I handle achieving my personal and professional goals only to have them challenged, threatened, or tainted? Wouldn’t that destroy me more – to reach that level of fulfillment and then lose it?

So I didn’t try, didn’t give it my all. I wasn’t brave, inspirational, or determined. I focused on spending time with the CA family and taking in the sights of Hollywood as though an outsider though I yearned to be an insider.

My sister and brother-in-law offered wise counsel, tons of laughs, and pragmatic suggestions – gently prodding me to determine my  ultimate goals. “I don’t know,” I’d reply. “Why don’t I know?”

I reached a point where all the inactions and non job searching forced me to make a decision regarding the next step in my life’s journey. Do I stay and put all my energy into achieving my entertainment dreams or go back east and pursue publication as a YA (Young Adult) author? I chose the latter, convincing myself that I wasn’t running away so much as being realistic.

Eastward Bound

My father accompanied me on the drive back east, rain greeting us each of the four days of travel. I stared out of the window, saddened and disappointed in myself but longing for home so that I could pretend I was brave and independent when the actual lesson from the CA adventure revealed the stark reality: I’d failed. I’d given up.  I allowed fear to color my decisions.

Three weeks after settling back at “home”, my older sister (one in PA) suddenly passed away. As I dealt with the stages of loss, I also found some comfort in knowing that I was there in her final twelve hours. I told myself that I must have sensed a need to be in Pennsylvania and that that’s what prompted the end to the CA adventure.

In the many months since my “failed” adventure, sister’s death and worrying about the election outcome, I spun into a downward spiral – sucked in by irrational fear and an overwhelming sense of dread. Art had consistently been my source of healing in years past, yet now I found little fulfillment from writing. Blogging about entertainment seemed meaningless and tweeting to my favorite actors or TV writers/execs felt like a waste of time and energy. “What did it matter?” I asked. “I’d decided, after all, that a career in TV wasn’t for me so why give it so much attention now?”

I became immersed in fear and self-depreciation until the morning of November 9th. I realized that I could not sit idly by and let fear and dread consume me. I must stand up and keep moving forward. Life is a journey-  my Hollywood adventure but one path along the way. I am currently writing a children’s book and reminding fear that I am strong.

What about the TV writer dream? I feel immense regret over my inactions especially since talking about film, TV, and/or theatre still brightens my eyes and fills my soul with joy. I remain unsure of my personal and professional goals but I’m motivated to search them out.

This February 26th, I’ll celebrate the best of 2016 film from a comfy couch and in the company of friends and family. Will I blog about it afterwards? Perhaps…but I’ll enjoy the show nonetheless.

 

**No endorsement from any of the above organizations/events implied.**

Award Show Weekend Prep

Award Show Time

Today marks the start of Golden Globes weekend and though I’d much rather be in Hollywood interviewing artists on the red carpet, I’m still excited for the telecast regardless of my location. Granted, I don’t watch any of the nominated TV shows nor have I seen any of the film nominees, but this is the time when I decide which ones interest me enough to spend my time or money.

I originally planned to host a viewing party, as I’ve done in years past. However, this year’s viewing will be a low-key event involving my couch and some themed desserts. As I look ahead to Sunday’s telecast, I included some of my earlier blog entries regarding award shows and why they fascinate me so.

Enjoy!!!!

CHAMPION THE ARTS – “...So while my friends and family may plan for the big play-off party I’ll be waiting with excitement for the upcoming entertainment award show season.

A GOLDEN REQUEST – “I have no desire of ever attending a Super Bowl but I do have a goal of going to each major award show at least once in my lifetime.  And the Golden Globes are the ones I seek to attend next!

REQUEST DENIED – “I arranged to visit my sister and her family in Los Angeles once I found out the date of the Golden Globes.  I figured I’d multi-task; spend time with family and check off “attend the Golden Globes” from my bucket list.

*DISCLAIMER: No endorsement by anyone associated with the Golden Globes telecast, the HFPA, or their affiliates/sponsors/subsidiaries is implied.*

 

Thank You to the REVENGE Cast and Crew

ABC’s primetime drama series, REVENGE, will end its run May 10th when the fourth season finale equates to the series finale. Revengers around the world will miss this beloved show, and I proudly include myself among them.

Goodbye Revenge

For four years, REVENGE was the one show that I could NOT miss watching each week. I looked forward to finding out what would happen next and anticipated episodes full of twists and turns. My fellow REVENGE fans will no doubt find ways to say “Thank You” to the cast and crew through photo collages, video montages, memes, sketches, playlists and more – I decided to use my love of the written word to convey my thanks for an amazing four years of must-watch television!

TO THE CREW:

  • Mike Kelley, you created a TV show that became beloved by fans worldwide. You gave us characters that we rooted for and against, sometimes simultaneously. Thank you for bringing something new to the canvas filled with shows about doctors, lawyers, and cops.
  • Sunil Nayar, thank you for guiding us through the past two seasons, and for starting season 3 with a bang!
  • Maybe it’s due to my long-standing belief that music plays an important role in art, but Fil Eisler’s original music caught my attention time and again. His exquisite work during pivotal moments (i.e. Daniel’s death and Victoria’s final act) accentuated the emotion in the scene and the aftereffect each would have on not only the other characters, but the show overall.
  • Jill O’Hanneson (style guru and costume maven) – you are a genius in your craft. You didn’t just dress the actors; you outfitted the world in which they lived. I frequently caught myself saying, “I love that dress!” and “Where do they come up with Nolan’s outfits; that’s fantastic.” From Emily’s gorgeous wedding dress to Victoria’s fiery red gown, the pieces are embedded in our memory.
  • To all the directors, DP’s, producers, production assistants, hair, makeup, story editors, script supervisors – your work behind the scenes did not go unnoticed. The show could not have been made without you!!!!

TO THE WRITING TEAM:

I’ll admit it – I’d likely have a fangirl moment if I ever had the opportunity to chat with any of the REVENGE writers. I hold them in very high regard. Here’s why: the hard work, dedication, time, energy, creativity, and attention to detail that it must take to write 39-48 minutes of dramatic television each week deserves my respect and appreciation. This writing team consistently left me guessing what would happen next and anticipating the next chapter in the story. They gave us memorable one-liners and plot twists, and created characters that won’t soon be forgotten. I wish you all the best in whatever the future holds. *UPDATE MAY 2016: In the past year, writers from REVENGE moved on to new and established dramas such as LIMITLESS, SUPERGIRL, CASTLE, and HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER. Brava!!*

TO THE ACTING ENSEMBLE:

Dear Emily, Gabriel, Nick, Josh, Madeleine, Henry, Christa, Barry, Karine, Elena, Ashley, Conner, James, Margarita, and the rest of the REVENGE cast – What can I “say” about this tremendous acting ensemble that you’ve not already heard? The greatest compliment I can bestow upon such a talented group of actors is this: you brought to life characters that will live on long after the finale. While you excelled in your craft on an individual level, your talent shined through your on-screen interaction. We loved watching the brother/sister relationship develop between Emily and Nolan throughout the seasons – their goodbye in Season 3 still moves me. Regardless of what romantic pairing the fans “shipped”, each of the men in Emily’s life had issues, complexities, and drama all their own. As you keep moving forward toward the next journey in your career, I wish you continued success – on both a professional and personal level!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone involved with bringing REVENGE to the small screen for the past four years.  While I don’t presume to “speak” for the entire fandom, I think it’s safe to say that we’ll support all the projects that this REVENGE team pursues in the future. Whether Agent 13 joins her S.H.I.E.L.D counterparts or a Hamptonite conquers the Broadway stage, you better believe the Revengers will assemble!

*DISCLAIMER: My opinions are just that…mine.  No implied endorsement from anyone associated with this show is intended.

REVENGE Recap: “Burn” Episode 4×20

With now only three episodes remaining in this season of REVENGE, my anticipation for the May finale is ablaze with curiosity after last night’s game-changing hour of drama!

**SPOILER ALERT: If you have NOT watched up to episode 4 x 20 of REVENGE, stop reading and go watch!**

Now, let’s get down to the business at hand…Victoria’s hand, that is.

REVENGE "Burn"

FIRESTORM

Have we truly said goodbye to the Queen of the Hamptons?! If our eyes can be believed, than yes.  The end sequence (written by Ted Sullivan, directed by Kenneth Fink, and featuring a hauntingly-beautiful score by Fil Eisler) showed Victoria Grayson taking control of the situation and turning Grayson Manor to rubble with the help of an open flue and a lighter.

Throughout the episode, Victoria appeared to take the brunt of Emily’s Amanda’s plan of revenge. First, she got a not-so-nice greeting in the parking garage when a masked figure attacked the matriarch and searched her purse for some unknown item. Though she claimed that Emily was the culprit, she seemed too fearful to retaliate by handing over the incriminating flash drive to authorities.  Then, Emily adeptly retrieved said flash drive through a plan that involved pickpocketing a FBI agent and impersonating a firefighter.  Victoria’s mental state became unhinged as the minutes progressed until she donned a fiery red dress, sat on her throne, and flicked the lighter. She put the power back in her own hands, quite literally.

Victoria’s decision and motivation could not have been believed without the sheer talent of Madeleine Stowe.  She brought to life a character who was both tormented and strong, brave yet scared, and dedicated to her children.  Thank you for an incredible four years of Victoria Grayson!

GIRL FIGHT

I said this from the beginning of the season, but I’ll say it again: I like Margaux, and I think she’d make an amazing ally for Emily. Two smart, brave, passionate, and determined women fighting for a common cause would be a fierce duo no one should cross. However, I find myself enjoying the Margaux/Louise frenemy dynamic. Neither of these fiery women could agree on how best to protect and support Victoria, which led to loads of snarky comebacks and exchange of power until they finally decided to let their history be just that.

With Mama Grayson’s last act, she put into motion events that will pit Margaux and Louise against Amanda Emily. Ultimately, I still want our beloved heroine to outwit, outmaneuver, and outsmart the new tag team, but I’ll enjoy the ride in the meantime.

TAKING FLIGHT

“Don’t go, Jack!” That’s what kept running through my mind as our protagonist rushed to stop the man she loved (but has yet to tell him so) from leaving the Hamptons.  After Nolan attempted to convince his best guy friend of Emily/Amanda’s feelings, the two said a heartfelt farewell.  *Sidenote: The Nolan/Jack friendship has always been one of my favorites on REVENGE.  Kudos to Nick Wechsler and Gabriel Mann for making us love this bromance.* Nolan then booked it directly to his bff’s house, scolding her for not admitting her feelings sooner and prodding her to take action before it’s too late.

These two wounded characters hurt one another time and again, sometimes intentionally and other times due to misunderstanding and miscommunication. They’re both struggling to figure out who they are and how they fit into each other’s lives as adults. It’s a beautiful love story, based on friendship and developed over time.  As Amanda Clarke faces her past and an uncertain future, she’ll need Jack all the more in the present. I look forward to seeing how it develops in the final 3 episodes of the season.

As season four comes to a close, I anticipate a conclusion that will keep me glued to my seat and leave me momentarily speechless!

*DISCLAIMER: No endorsement by anyone associated with Revenge, its parent company, affiliates, sponsors, or artists implied!*

Reasons You Should Hire Me for Your TV Drama Series

Working as a writer on a dramatic series was a dream that belonged to a teenage girl who hoped and wished. I now know without hesitation that the dream is not only possible but probable. It’ll take hard work – work that I’m ready, willing, and able to manage…I would love to gain insight from those currently in the Dramatic Writing profession. Understanding the paths they took may help guide me along my own.  – Day 31 of the Artistic Spirit Pledge: DRAMATIC WRITING

I write characters better than I sketch them!
I write characters better than I sketch them!

  1. DEDICATION: It takes a lot of hard work, time, energy, and talented artists (in front of and behind the camera) to bring a TV series to the screen each week. You only need read the end credits to see how many people are working together, united for a common goal. My passion and respect for the TV drama industry makes me a valuable asset to the team, whether you hire me to edit a script for consistency, answer telephones, or run errands for a producer.  I seek to develop my craft and learn from those whose expertise shines in the work they create.
  2. COMPLEX CHARACTERS: The characters I create and those I root for on a dramatic series must have inner turmoil on some level. I strive to develop situations where the labels of “protagonist” and “antagonist” no longer apply. It is through conflict exploration both internal and external that the characters develop, thus adding depth and complexity to the entire canvas.
  3. DIALOGUE: When I start a new story, it’s the dialogue that moves it forward. I can write idea after idea about what’s going to happen, but once the characters start conversing, the story takes on a life all its own. I find it not only exciting but creatively stimulating to create dialogue for each character that gives them a unique voice.
  4. TARGET MARKET:  I’ve spent most of my adult life utilizing my skill sets in programs, workshops, or completed writings that target teenagers and young adults.  With two decades of volunteer involvement in youth-oriented programs, I have a keen insight into their struggles, hopes, and goals. This understanding led me to write an 80,000 word Young Adult fantasy novel, which follows a young woman on her journey of individuality through family responsibility.
  5. GENEALOGY: I hated history, truly I did. However, when I realized that the ones who came before me experienced the same range of emotions (though the specifics differed) as I do, I saw them with renewed focus. We aren’t simply names and faces – we each have a story to tell.  My ancestors are complex characters in their own life story, and through genealogy research, I help create the first draft.
  6. APPRECIATION: The profound respect, admiration, and appreciation I have for the TV drama industry continues to inspire me on a daily basis. I love watching behind-the-scenes videos, reading interviews from Executive Producers and Show Runners, and discussing the episodes with viewers who share in my excitement. I hold this industry in high regard while also being able to look at it objectively.

I look forward to discussing my qualifications with you in greater detail. Please email me directly at kdeenywriter@yahoo.com.

Best wishes,
Kelly Deeny

Revenge Season 3 Finale Recap

Season 3 of ABC’s Revenge started with a bang and a splash, keeping our interest the entire season through.  So, it’s no surprise that the finale would not only match the opener but take it to the next level of anticipation and intrigue!

Let’s recap, briefly, because there’s a great deal we need to discuss:

  • David Clarke was framed for a crime he didn’t commit
  • He was framed by Conrad and Victoria Grayson
  • David’s 9-year-old daughter Amanda was there the night her father was forced to the ground and taken into custody.
  • David Clarke died while in prison
  • Amanda Clarke, now grown, returns to the Hamptons as Emily Thorne, moving in next door to the Graysons.  Her plan – seek revenge for those who framed her father.
  • She married Conrad and Victoria’s son, Daniel, only to be intentionally shot by him on their wedding night (long story involving a fake pregnancy, alcohol, and a subplot about an ex-girlfriend).
  • Along the way, Emily/Amanda was helped by a handsome trio – David’s protegé (Nolan Ross), another revenge-seeker due to the David Clarke set-up scheme (Aiden Mathis), and her childhood sweetheart who only learned of her true identity during last year’s jaw-dropping season finale (Jack Porter).

WARNING: Spoiler alert!  Spoiler alert!  If you are not up to date on the last two episodes of Season 3, be forewarned that spoilers will follow.  Proceed at your own entertainment “peril”!

 

When we last left the Hamptons, Victoria had figured out that Emily was not all she claimed, Emily and her trio of helpers successfully trapped Conrad into admitting his long list of crimes and he was arrested, Charlotte Grayson Clarke (product of Victoria and David’s affair) finally opened her eyes, metaphorically speaking.  Oh, and Jack informed Emily that there’s a teensy-weensy possibility that David’s still alive.  And that brings us to tonight’s phenomenal season finale…

An entire hour of twists and turns, all lead up to a final few minutes that set an entirely new game in motion.  In summary, Victoria killed Aiden (I sobbed), Charlotte realized Jack was the “kidnapper” (darn it), and Emily had Victoria hospitalized in a mental institution (well played, Ms. Thorne).  Oh, wait…did I forget something – or someone?  A very much alive David Clarke climbed out of that van and revealed himself to a flabbergasted Conrad.  That is, right before David stabbed his former employer and drove away.  This sets up a multitude of directions for the show to take when it returns in the fall.  And I, for one, can’t wait!!  When does the full Season 3 DVD set come out, so I can watch them again? 🙂

Television programs receive my high praise when they keep my interest each week.  They hook me in with intriguing characters and surprising plot twists that ultimately create an added level of dimension to the story and the players.  Revenge is one such television drama series.  I’ve seen every episode from the pilot on through and look forward to seeing what happens next!

Request Denied

The Golden Globes came and went.  Neither did I watch them on television nor did I attend despite my written request a few weeks ago.

I arranged to visit my sister and her family in Los Angeles once I found out the date of the Golden Globes.  I figured I’d multi-task; spend time with family and check off “attend the Golden Globes” from my bucket list.  After doing some research and realizing that tickets are not made available to the public I decided to step outside of my artistic box and hope that by just believing hard enough a door would open.  In the meantime, I set my DVR at home to record…just in case.  Ironically enough, despite my brother-in-law’s feverish attempts we were unable to watch the award show Sunday evening.

I have never before lowered my guard and asked for a selfish request to be granted.  That is, until I wrote a blog entry imploring the entertainment world to grant me access to the Golden Globes.  I shared the post numerous times on social media, linked it to entertainment organizations, TV show and film profiles and well-known talk show hosts.  I hoped deep down that my words would move someone into action.  That my deep sincerity and love for the creative arts would tug at some high-level executive’s heart-strings.  That they’d say, “Did you read this?  Let’s send this girl to the Globes!”

By noon on Sunday I had accepted the reality that no one was going to knock on my sister’s door with a camera crew and announce, “Are you ready to go?  We’ve got a team ready for hair and make-up.  You didn’t bring a dress?  That’s okay.  We have a selection for you to choose from.”  I suppose my life-long Cinderella fascination finally took shape.  There was not to be a fairy godmother to whisk me off to the award show ball.  No one to magically know how much I truly wished for my request to be granted.

I put myself out there in a way I never have before and it’s mildly embarrassing and greatly frustrating that I allowed myself to rely so heavily on the power of positive thinking and the actions of others.

The greatest lesson from this experience?  To focus on my own creative pieces (whether it’s the YA fantasy novel that’s nearing completion or the screenplay that’s in progress) and less on those of others.  To complete my own work, to the best of my ability, and know that when I do go to the Golden Globes it’ll be because I’m nominated!

A Golden Request

I have no desire of ever attending a Super Bowl but I do have a goal of going to each major award show at least once in my lifetime.  And the Golden Globes are the ones I seek to attend next!  There’s one major problem though…tickets are not made available to the public and I do not hold any kind of press credentials for red carpet reporting. 😉

I’ve learned that you can’t assume that others know what you want.  You have to ask.  I’m asking.  Can you send my sister and I to the Golden Globes this year?

In a time when our country’s worried about issues of immediate significance like falling off a fiscal cliff, hurricanes and disease it’s understandable that this request is abnormal.  I stand behind the belief that the creative arts can heal.  That they offer us the opportunity to reflect upon our own lives and perhaps re-examine our beliefs and/or choices.  I celebrate the entertainment industry and all the hard work from those either in front of or behind the camera.

I grew up thinking that my affection for the entertainment industry was an insignificant and frivolous hobby.  One that wouldn’t lead to a proper destination for my focus and energy.  Yet during times of immense personal struggle it was art that got me through.  And I do not doubt that there are other young girls and boys out there who have a deep love for film, television, music or theatre but that they are told to put those interests secondary in their lives.

It would be an incredible honor for me to have the opportunity to say “Thank You” to those who’ve brought these films and TV shows to fruition.  To stand on the red carpet and ask Tom Hooper why he selected Les Miserables as the musical he wanted to adapt to the big screen.  To congratulate Julian Fellowes on the success of Downton Abbey; a dramatic series that has depth, warmth and regality.  To share in the excitement of Smash’s nomination as it’s well-deserved and hopefully the first of many accolades.

When I’ve had the opportunity to meet actors, writers or other entertainment professionals I’ve chosen to use the chance to say “Thank You” and “Your work meant something to me.”  To separate the performer from the character because in doing so you pay tribute to the passion of a fellow artist.

If  you are able to send my sister and I to the Golden Globes this January, whether as red carpet reporters or sitting in the bleachers, the experience is bound to prompt some interesting blog posts from this fan’s perspective.  Thank you for your time and your consideration!

All the best,

Kelly Deeny

*For more information on the Golden Globe Awards and the nominees mentioned above please visit their websites listed below.*

http://www.goldenglobes.org/

http://www.lesmiserablesfilm.com/

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/index.html

http://www.nbc.com/smash/